For some reason, this conversation has been coming up frequently with the girls… and gents.  What I now understand is that not all dreams make their way to become a vision for your life, not all dreams become goals, and not all dreams are realized.  The evidence is clear…if all dreams came to pass, there would not be brokenness: broken hearts, broken promises, broken commitments, a broken spirit,etc.  So what is the difference between a dream deferred and a vision realized?  How does one push past the gray areas and see their vision come to pass?

So, I’ve set out to find the answer because I’ve had dreams, that are now goals that I desire to come to pass.  I do not believe that they are just lofty thoughts, but God given visions.  I don’t believe that they are just for my thoughts.  They are to be manifested into reality.  These dreams are GRAND and they are supposed to be.  Your dreams should be LARGE and almost, almost….unattainable.  So that when they do come to pass, you will feel accomplished and confident. God gets the glory and it’s His grace that brought you through.

What happens to your faith when you are in the middle of producing that thing and it seems so impossible, so hard to grasp, to hard to focus on the PRIZE? How do you push through?  How do you take the risk, emotionally, financially, physically?  Where does your strength come from?

I heard stories from friends about how they had been awakened from sleep to communicate with God, to pray, read the word, have devotion or just spend a moment of quiet time with Him.  That experience has happened to me quite often as well.  I’ve gotten up as early as 4am to pray for someone or read a passage in the Bible.  However, as of late, I have been praying for BIG things to happen in my life.  As a christian, I should have known that with BIG dreams, there will be BIG commitments, BIG changes and A LOT of uncomfortable moments.  So for the past month, I have been getting up at 6:30-7am (which is not early at all to some folks, I get it!    and not just praying and talking to God, but setting out for my daily walk/run.  Never less than an hour. Never less than 4 miles.  I am in training for something that is GREAT and I am believing that it will come to pass.

My dreams will be manifested because of that walk, because of the work He has been doing in my life.  Doing this “wilderness” period, He has been reshaping my body, correcting my wrongs and transforming my mindset… and the process is grueling…

But I’ve made a promise to God and to myself that I would not run, I will not turn back. That I will not reject His love for me and I will not think any less of myself.  I don’t know how all the details will be worked out, but I plan on looking back one day and being grateful that I was able to persevere and see the vision realized.

What I believe the difference in a dream deferred, a dream defeated and the vision realized is the WORK and COMMITMENT.  How hard are you willing to push for it. How long will you pray, meditate and focus on it? You may want to doubt that it will happen, throw your hands up and give up, but when you are focused, you can’t.  It becomes you.  You’ll live and breathe that dream until it shows up.  Rejoice, but only for a moment. You should be on to the next dream.

Later,  Honey

What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore–
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over–
like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?

- Langston Hughes

Before then, this is what I was used to….
get up
go to work
come home
go to sleep
…. and then do it all over again.

For the past few years, this was my life.  And I, griped about each and every minute of it.  

Damn u, FB!!!

Today I was looking at pictures posted on FB. There was a group photo with someone who looked like me…  Big smile, cheeks….  nice legs.   However, her spunk was missing. Where did her mojo go? 

Fast forward…. today, 2010.

No longer obligated to my full time job, which I thought would be the end of the world, if I ever lost it…. I am quite content and am looking forward to the happiest moments of my life.  It all lies before me! 

I am open to the possibilities of what I can be and curious to see how God is going to make it happen. I am enjoying my quiet walk with Him.  This time is allowing me to get back in right relationship, meditate and focus…..  Because…. it is about to be on!!!!!

As always, I’ll keep you posted!
Honey

I love, love, loving the booties this season! 

Grabbed a pair of Coach suede booties that I have worn with a dress to a wedding and then with my jeans over the weekend! 

Lucky magazine recently rounded up a few ruffled booties and posted them on their site.  Take a look! 

Weekend Shopping: Ruffled Booties: luckymag.com.

All the symptoms of a crush!  And, I love it!!!

laters,  honey

Saturday was Halloween, the un-official start of Autumn in the city!  I am always surprised at what NYers think of for costumes!  My favorite this year was the tin man.  He was dressed from head to toe in aluminum foil and used a funnel for his hat.  Along side of him was the lion, which must have been his kid and Dorothy was a ways ahead of them with Toto in hand!    Back to the tin man…  what made his costume even funnier was that he was wounded so tight in foil that he couldn’t bend his arms and legs, just how I imagined the tin man in the novel and how Nipsy Russell portrayed him in Oz.

Second runner-up was Beetlejuice! As we were approaching the Brooklyn Bridge,  my sister spots Beetlejuice and Lydia Deetz!  Hilarious!

This year I’ve seen my share of Michael Jacksons, clowns and even a man running in this years’ marathon as the Eiffel tower. Don’t ask me how he did it!

What was the most interesting costume you seen this year?  And who would you like to dress up as for Halloween 2010?

Let me know,

Honey!

What to do? Brush the hair back, add a lil’ Jane Carter to it, “beat” my face (as my boys say **wink, work it out**) and wear the hottest heels that I have in the closet.

Wish me luck!
Honey

Honey!

33 Under $100: luckymag.com.

But, what happens when two of your friends “go to war”?  Who’s side do you pick?  What do you share with the other? How would you handle this situation?

So, this is happening to me with two different sets of girlfriends.  I have learned that my stance has changed based on their  situations.  I guess I should break this down.

Case #1: My friend believes that her feelings aren’t being considered and that my other friend is using her current “situation” to get ahead.  Once hearing this story, and considering my friend’s personality,  I believed it.  It is her MO.  Not intentionally, but she has a history having tunnel vision and not necessarily being in tuned to what others’ think about in any given situation.

Case #2: My friend was so mad!  So mad at girlfriend that she stopped talking to her.  She even hung up on our friend ( I guess only my friend now) and wouldn’t respond to her text messages.

Want to know the crazy?  The crazy is both of my friends were OBLIVIOUS that someone was mad at them.  They were not aware until someone told them.

In case #1, I told.  That’s right.  I did it.  Not on some blabber mouth type stuff….I was defending my wounded friend and thought she needed to know that she was doing that tunnel vision stuff again.  Unfortunately, they haven’t worked it out, but at least all parties are now aware.  I am rooting for them! We’ve been friends for WAY too long.

Well, #2… I am proud of her.  She took a big girl pill and finally stepped up and addressed the situation herself.

As I was watching these situations unfold I’ve learned a few lessons myself.

1. The battle is not yours, Honey!  Tell your friends that you love them, but you aren’t choosing sides.  In fact, let them know that you pray that one day we can all get along  and act like big girls again. In the meantime, I love you both and will continue being friends with both.

2. Most of the time, one party does not even know they are in a “war”. They don’t even know that they’ve hurt feelings.  Both of my friends had other issues that this sista-gurl was not aware of.  So, I know for certain that my friends had no clue that the “no response” was not because they didn’t care or they were being insensitive, but because they were dealing with their own shit that they didn’t even tell their closest friends.

This leads me to think that being mad AND NOT LETTING THE OTHER PARTY KNOW is somewhat of a selfish act.  I CAPPED  and underlined that statement so you understand that being mad… oh, that is a natural part of life and can be at times healthy.  But, bottling that stuff in is selfish and childish.

With all that being said, I still don’t know what I’m gonna do the next time my friends get at each other. But I do know that I can promise my friends that if I am mad at you….  you’ll know.

Your thoughts?

Honey!

(There are always exceptions to the rules. We all know what lines we can and can not cross with your sista-gurls and they should be respected!)

Sometimes God takes us on a journey to find wisdom only to learn that we knew it all along.

As I get older, I learn more about myself and what it would take to have happiness. It’s not as much as I thought it to be, and I am learning that it is not always as hard as we make it out to be.

The one thing that I still search for is the love of my life. While some are content in being single, I am not. I don’t believe that it is my fate to be so. However, I am not in such a rush to find him… or for him to find me for that matter. I will know who you are because I will see God in you.

God has shown himself to me, over and over again. I see him in my family, my mom, sister and brother. He lives in my dearest friends. He’s in my heart and mind. He is the wind that quietly whispers in the night. He is the sunshine on a hot summery day.

So why should I not believe that God will be in my partner. Why should I doubt that he would be a gift from heaven?

Last night I watched a foreign film from India, Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi, which was a wonderful love story. I did not know that the title meant, a couple created by God or a match made in heaven. In this movie is a song, Tujhe Mein Rab Dikhta Hai, which has the most conforting words… It’s  what I think about when I think of God and now when I think of the God in you.

Blessings.
Honey

You questioned nothing, you asked for nothing
Whatever you gave, you gave from your heart
You never said anything, never judged/measured me
Smilingly you gave whatever you gave
You are sunshine, you are shadow
You are known to me and yet a stranger
I may know nothing else
But I know this much

God shows Himself through you
O dear one, what can I do

(Thanks initialm.wordpress.com, for the english translation above)

English Translation for the song Tujh Mein Rab Dikhta Hai